Thursday, August 20, 2009

Leavin' On A Jet Plane!

Hey girls!

So here is my last update from NYC...my trip home!
It was absolutely hailarious! I really can't make this stuff up, what happened on my plane was right out of a movie, I swear!

So I actually got to go with my friend, H, to the Kenneth Cole premier party in his 5th avenue store for the debut of the new Metal Heeled shoe! We all got gorgeous silver envelopes with prizes inside which were revielled when we got into the store. I got $9.50 off of any purchase, and a girl with me got $92.50! GO GIRL!
All of the girls that went worked with H at her internship, so I was really lucky that I got the chance to go! We got great pictures, and the girls got to meet Kenneth Cole himself at the signing of the shoes! He would sign the shoebox of anyone that bought a pair! It was so cool!

So anyways, I get all of my bags into a cab and head to the airport...blah blah blah, none of that is really all that important, so onto the actual plane ride!

I got to my assigned seat, 32 C when...I looked down and saw a small child in my seat! Suddenly, the flight attendent appeared as if she knew I was coming and said with an ear to ear grin,
"Hello, my favorite passenger, EVER!"
(please...how many "favorite passengers ever" do you have that get reassigned seats a day?)
"How would you feel about moving to 72 B? If you do, ill bring you your favorite drink, and I dont mean a diet coke!"
HELLO my favorite flight attendent ever, I would definitly move!
Either way, I think its always important for families to sit together on planes, so obviously it was not even an issue!
I got to my new seat, 72 B, and suddenly realized I wanted that drink! When I looked at who my plane partners were, I was ready to A. take a nap, or B. strike up a meaningless conversation, because thats always fun!
Plane parnter on the right had his stunna shades on, and was listening to music. Plane partner to my left was a small lady who didnt speak english. That wasnt good, because HELLO, I needed to know...if they got airsick! Oh well, I guessed I would risk it, but NO it gets even better!

As im seated, looking left and right at my plane partners that wouldnt say a word, much less look at me, I notice this woman walking on board in a full denim jumpsuit with a big picture of "Pooh" in the middle. She was quickly, and loudly coming down the isle! She was with her grandfather, who looked JUST LIKE Sherman Klump, and kept asking him,
"Where da hell my seat be at? I ain't never flown on no plane!"
Well, a flight attendent was coming down the other way when denim jumpsuit flagged her down and said,
"excuse me bitch, oops, I mean ma'am, where my seat be at?!"
WOW, rude!
The flight attendent, which I assume only because shes paid and has to be nice, helped her get seated, and I was already getting a cramp from laughing so hard! I had to laugh silently though, and luckily the guy across the isle was laughing with me...but nobody else was...AWKWARD!

Well okay moving on, we go to take off and all of the sudden I hear this rediculous "AHHHHHH, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

At first, before SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT came out, I thought the plane was malfunctioning because it sounded like nails on a chalkboard...anyways I quickly realized that denim jumpsuit was havin a breakdown!

I looked back, quickly!
Her grandfather, aka, Sherman Klump was sitting beside her with his hands folded in his lap laughin at her!

HELLO, for the sake of everyone, could he please put a muzzle on that!

All of the sudden, still in take off mode, she yells
"Bitch, I cant do dis,
then louder...
I CANT DO DIS,
GET ME THA HELL OFF THIS BITCH,
AHHHHH, SHIIIIT,
AHHHH, IM DYIN,
IM DYIN!

...I felt really bad for her at first, but there were kids on the plane, and she was cussin like a sailor!

All of the sudden the words started to die down, the IM DYiInNNnnn..got quieter and quieter, I looked back and flight attendent number 2 was putting an oxygen mask on her, she hyperventeliated and passed out!
AHH oh my gosh! I seriously was like shocked! if that wasnt bad enough once we got in the air, the plane dropped 10 feet, and she quickly woke up, and yelled "JESUS PLEASE, AHH LET ME OUT!"
The flight attendent informed her that unless she had a parachute, which obviously heights werent her thing, we were 1500 feet up and her crazy ass was stayin put! She screamed for another 10 minutes, and then passed out again!

Im sorry, but YES I was laughing, mainly because everyone on the plane was in mild shock...I had to laugh silently, but oh my gosh!

When we landed, she started screaming again, but they told her we were on the ground. As soon as we landed, fasten seatbelt sign still on and all, she gets up, got on her knees, and screamed "I MADE IT, I DID DIS! WHAT NOW!
The flight attendent had to restrain her back to her seat, grandpa still laughin!
I have never in my life been so freaked out, amused, and all around confused hahahaha!

What a trip!

Welcome home!

Have a great Thursday!

9 comments:

Seersucker Scrapper said...

I am laughing so hard at this. If I was on that plane, I would have been laughing too!

CashmereLibrarian said...

O.M.G.!

BroncoMom said...

Have Mercy! That was the best belly laugh I had had in days. thanks for sharing!
BroncoMom

Suburban Princess said...

Thanks for the funny story!!!
Now I dont feel so bad about MY flying nerves lol!

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I am about in tears laughing. That's one of the funniest stories ever!!

Princess Freckles said...

Oh my gosh! That is right out of a movie! Hilarious!

Fred Egan said...

I travel on planes somewhat often and have NEVER had the privilege of experiencing a denim Pooh jumpsuit hyper-venting sailor mouth passenger...hilarious.

http://www.unabashedlyprep.com

tintarosa said...

I think I sat by her sister on my last flight.

kanishk said...

hat was the best belly laugh I had had in days. thanks for sharing!
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